An article about movie stars in G2 included an outrageous claim, which I just have to demolish: Tom Cruise played only a small role in Magnolia, but elevated the whole picture. Wait a minute. Just which Magnolia are we talking about? The one with Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, and John C. Reilly, among others? And here’s Peter Bart magazine claiming Tom ”tame the cunt / I used to wear really big shades / Church of Scientology rules a-ok” Cruise* elevates the movie? Admitted, he was funny, but so was Brad Pitt in 12 Monkeys shouting ”enemas for everyone”, and I don’t hear no Variety editors claiming he made the film work.

Yes I know I’m attacking his person but just what did you expect from an ugly fat guy like me?