Ensin elokuvasta: Zinnin ja Chomskyn FOTR:iin äänittämä kommenttiraita (Chomsky: How do you think these wizards build gigantic towers and mighty fortresses? Where do they get the money? Keep in mind that I do not especially regard anyone, Saruman included, as an agent for progressivism. But obviously the pipe-weed operation that exists is the dominant influence in Middle Earth. It’s not some ludicrous magical ring.), uusi katsaus elokuvan kaanoniin (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington: ”Oh, Mr. Smith!” you will invariably lament. ”Will you ever get to Washington?” ) ja D’Souzan ja Coulterin Aliensiin äänittämä kommenttiraita (Coulter: Notice, though, that Ripley’s cat doesn’t especially like Burke. The cat could be a liberal. It wouldn’t surprise me. What Burke understands is something some stupid cat never will: people are essentially horrible. Enlightened people are and must be out for themselves. Sorry, liberals! But it’s true.).

Sitten: läjä hämmentäviä sitaatteja amerikkalaisista joukkoviestimistä (Defying every prognosis, Samantha was soon speaking, hearing and seeing out of her left eye.), Walt Disneylle osoitettu ”kadonnut” muistio (It’s just that we feel that a few small changes may be required to make it the success we all believe it should be. For instance: We think the idea of greeting guests with costumed animals is a swell one. But instead of having them announce that they represent undigested meat, perhaps they could be characters you’ve created, and be mute?), anteeksipyyntö Islannille (The United States of America did not surrender itself to Icelandic sovereignty.), maahanmuuttajan opas amerikkalaiseen työpaikkaslangiin (Shit rolls downhill – I lament the perceived inequalities of our capitalist system.) sekä historiallisten henkilöiden uudelleenarviointia (But let us now consider whether Presley could have been an even bigger star. What if, for instance, in addition to being able to effortlessly meld the various schools of American music, he had also been a brilliant neurosurgeon? Wouldn’t that have made him even more renowned?).

Kaiken lähde on tietenkin McSweeney’s.

PS: Vielä lisäyksenä viivyttelykeskusteluun listattakoon tämä juttu kirjoitusvaikeuksista.