Why the French can’t make movies

French woman wakes up, talks French, gets out of bed, has breakfast, goes shopping, talks French, comes back, thinks about lunch, visits her mother, talks French, maybe goes for a walk, sees child, talks French, movie ends.

Where the fucking fuck’s the fucking movie in that? Don’t fuck with me – it’s straight-to-fucking-video.

Vanity Fair: Diary – Joe Eszterhas, as told to Craig Brown