Tämän mietteen synnytti eilen Mafialta– korjaan, YleXiltä kuulemani epämääräinen viisu, jossa korviavihlova piipitys toimi juuri niin huonosti kuin se yleensä tekee.
Archive for the ‘pop’ Category
Porn wisdom
I’m only gonna be 18 or 19 for a couple of years, so…(heard on MoonTV from the mouth of an aspiring porn actress)
Yletöntä toimintaa
Ensin Halme eduskuntaan ja nyt tämä. Perkele sentään. Eihän tätä maata voi jättää oman onnensa nojaan hetkeksikään.
Foo sucks
Eurovision song contest
A bunch of incoherent babble follows: Was Germany’s song really called Let’s Get Happy? And are my ears fooling me or did the scary Paula Koivuniemi/Laura Voutilainen hybrid of a woman just sing Let’s be happy and let’s be gay
? I can’t hide from you / Then I’d die for you
is a nice couplet, courtesy of Greece.
Holy shit some of these people are out of tune.
I’m guessing Norway will win, but my personal favourite is still the outrageous mess that was the Austrian entry.
Apropos, the BBC version of the Eurovision song contest differs quite a lot from the Yle one. Too bad I forgot to buy a video tape so I can’t share the experience with my fellow Finns, especially the one waving the ”Terveisiä mammalle”-placard in the front row.
The commentator is a fellow by the name of Kerry Wogan and his job, it would seem, is simply to take the piss on everybody and everything. A welcome return of the wonderbra
, Who writes these?
, She’s Kylie in dreadlocks, really
, You’re not gonna remember anything tomorrow
, I think Tom Jones and the writers of Sex Bomb could sue here
, Any sight of a drink?
, This is knockabout comedy by their standards
, I don’t know about you but I would’ve preferred the commercials
, Yes yes, let’s move on
, There’s only two more to go, be a good sport
, I know you’ve had a few
, It’s been so long you’ve forgotten some of these songs, haven’t you?
, Every year I sit hear and wonder: what are they doing?
are but few selected quotes from him. And when they announced that next year there’ll be two competitions, the guy went mental. What? Don’t do it!
. That’s okay, you’re fired
he quipped to the Bosnia & Herzegovinan presenter who messed up her votes. But ultimately things turned sour as he revealed his normal uppity ”everyone speaks English” attitude when the nice Latvian lady presenter mumbled some English words and started making fun of her. Bad boy!
Apparently the contest is a huge in gay circles here and big parties are being held all around the country. I think this also helps to explain why countries like Germany, Austria and UK always send such campy contestants. My next objective shall be to see how the Germans treat this great competition.
Wonderful!
Review: Matrix Reloaded (€ € €)
The cons were almost too numerous to list. The movie was flooded with horrible pseudo-philosophical babble. I’m sorry, but just first saying one song and then the exact opposite doesn’t mean it would be profound. Then there was the action, which was utterly and completely over the top this time, devoid of almost all interest. Take, for example, the scene where Neo confronts Agent Smith, battles him for a good while and then finally flies away. I mean, why didn’t he take to the skies immediately? Then there’s the rule bending. Basically most of the things we were told about the nature of the Matrix were toyed with in an unexcusable way (I feel like the crazed woman in Misery here). The film is almost entirely devoid of foreshadowing except for the final moments, which is unforgivable as the last two parts of the trilogy were planned and shot back to back. Where’s the sense in making a movie so self-sufficient it doesn’t even leave you wanting for more?
You know they say that you can always tell the difference between a real actor and a CGI construct. Well, in this case you can’t, so I guess the Wachowski’s should feel grateful for casting Keanu Reeves, a man so plastic in flesh that you really cannot tell the man from the machine. But it’s not like he’s a real person anyhow.
But as I said, I was truly and well entertained by the movie. Obviously this means that the flick had its moments. My favourites weren’t the few almost impossible CGI effects (Neo fighting a billion agents) but rather the totally impossible ones, like the moment in the highway chase when the camera apparently passes through an oncoming truck. And the plot has its moments as well, it’s just that the ideas are usually completely obfuscated by the thick dialogue. Extra credit has to be given for flashing an image of George Bush Snr near the end in an appropriate context. And in no case it’s a total turkey like Equilibrium, just that it doesn’t stand up to the promise of the original.
I guess my sense of delight at the movie can be at least partly explained by the Star Wars generation phenomenon. The people who were in their teens or early twenties when New Hope came out were forever altered by that experience, as it was like nothing they’d ever seen before. When the prequels started rolling out, the original fans kept praising them as well, even though it was quite clear to everyone else that George Lucas’s fable had long since lost its essence.
But then again it would be unfair to ask someone to create something new more than once in their lifetimes.
Rating: € € €
Note that this doesn’t mean I think the original Matrix movie was the best thing since sliced bread, I’m just pointing out the effect it had on the collective opinion concerning action movies.
Magazine overview pt. 1
Everybody knows NME or at least pretends to. I’m part of the latter group, as I’ve really dug into NME only recently, after its face lift. It’s been the model for Rumba and its style has obviously inspired a few others as well. Basically in the 1980s it was the thing in music journalism but the flame has since flickered. NME can be a bit self-sufficient at times: they don’t hesitate using phrases like ”the NME can reveal” when writing about truly trivial things and they sometimes handle incoming mail as it was addressed to God. Did I have something to say about the magazine? Well not really, except that I don’t really get it. Leafing through the NME Originals I’ve learned that once upon a time the pages of the magazine were full of vitriol and Correct Opinions. Apparently nowadays they just hype whatever White Stripes/Vines/Strokes/etc clones happen to be releasing something. Shame.
X-Ray is a new contender. The magazine comes in a curiously small size, something like an A5. The selling point here is quite obviously the CD, which nearly doubles the size of the package X-Ray occupies on the magazine rack. Some of the features are quite well written, though there’s nothing you wouldn’t have seen before. Most interesting is the focus, which is on new, up-and-coming bands and trends. At times they even write about different stuff than the NME.
Word is – surprise surprise – a new magazine and it’s the most promising of them all. The bits and pieces of blowing their own trumpet aside (well they’ve got to raise their visibility somehow, don’t they?) it’s a very pleasant acquaintance. The articles aren’t short and they aren’t based on press junkets, so there’s actually some content. The subject matters range from music to movies to books to gadgets, which pretty much fits my idea of a perfect pop magazine. As Word doesn’t have to pretend to be covering everything they spend most of the time praising the things they like instead of dissing what they don’t. For some reason I can’t quite point my finger on it’s quite refreshing. Naturally everything cannot be perfect with Word, but it’s clearly the strongest contender out there right now. The only problem I’m going to have with it is the international subscription price which is way too much. TANSTAAFL.
Magazine overview pt. 2
First up is Uncut. It looks and feels like a carbon copy of Mojo in many senses, so this is sort of a combined review. The best thing about the magazine is the sheer size of articles. For example, the May 2003 issue of Uncut had a story about Fleetwood Mac that ran from page 38 to page 66. I’ve never seen such extensive essays in any pop magazine, and I must say I’m impressed. Not only because of the size, but because of quality. It’s obvious that you can’t just whip up a story this big without doing serious research, multiple interviews and so on, and I’m happy to say that it shows. Mojo has learned accounts as well, and they’re very well written, if not quite as extensive. My biggest – and only – gripe is that the two magazines have their sights set permanently in the past. Unfortunately that kind of rules them out, me being the kind of pop neophyte that I am.
Bang has a promising roster of writers, especially my new all-time favourite Simon Price. It is therefore a real shame that Bang seems to place more value on images than on text, especially as Price’s pieces about The Flaming Lips and Har-Mar Superstar were a real joy to read. The majority of the magazine was sadly filled with short bits of gossip that are already ubiquitous on the net. The accompanying CD was okay. It’ll be interesting to see if Bang will succeed in carving a niche for itself; to my eye it wouldn’t seem likely. Recommended with caution.
Rock Sound is pretty boring. I only bought it for the CD and it wasn’t that good anyhow. I advice you to skip this one.
Matrix accessories
A sort of a documentary about the Matrices just finished on Five. It belonged to the new breed of documentaries which don’t actually teach you anything new. This time we were treated to the unbelievable insight that making the new movie cost a shitload of money. Wow, couldn’t have figured that out myself.
Then there were the over-the-top interviews. A geek (a female geek for that matter) who proclaimed to have seen the original movie over 150 times. That works out to about twice every fortnight. It’s not that much, is it? My second favourite was a doctor of something or other who opined that the Matrix movie presented the most accurate view of future as far as sci-fi films are concerned. I don’t know what they put into his drinking water but I want some.
Naturally the Neo flying bit of footage was shown n+1 times. That and bits of the car chase. I think they also had managed to include a 15-second bit of interview with the Wachowski brothers, who look – to me – like Kevin Smith and another, thinner Kevin Smith.
*: Well, it did have a skimpily dressed lady in it as well. I guess that’s a definite bonus in the movie’s core audience segment.